6/16/09

Down one pound this morning(157.0). Really surprised after my gain yesterday. I figured I had really screwed the whole thing up. I didn't feel weak yesterday, I think probably because of the meal I had the day before. I guess it will take a day or two to get to feeling that way again. I can tell the 4lbs I gained is right back on my belly. How amazing that we can make fat that quickly (or burn it!). Either way, my coworker who is on week 4 (with great results) said she felt really crappy the first 2 weeks as well. But you could never have guessed it, she is always the most energetic person around. 

After yesterday and the day before, I realize that this journal isn't just about my taking hcg, it's about my battle with food. What a stupid thing to have control my life. A basic necessity has become my enemy. I have a renewed determination to stay on track this time. 

I had bought the candy I spoke of before work yesterday, and it was a good thing. I did not get to feeling really weak, but it was somebody's birthday and there were cookies and ice cream. I bit the bullet and had a total of 4 candies over 10 hrs. They're 15 cal each w/0 fat. The diet says if you get hypoglycemic you can down a tsp of sugar, and I think this is basically what I did by eating the candy. I do however feel that 4 is too much, I want to cut it down to 2 or less, at least when there's no ice cream around. Ice cream is my biggest demon. It's like heroin to me. 

I do wonder how consuming even small amounts of sugar will affect my reintroducing it after the injections and 3 wks. I do figure that it will be about the same as consuming the fruit which I have cut out, just because I'm not really hungry enough to eat 2 servings a day when I need sugar. (Tho I was eating it for the sugar when I was feeling crappy, and it did not have any affect that I could tell. I guess it's because the sugar is fructose which doesn't help much w/hypoglycemia due to the way it has to be paired w/another sugar to be used by the body). 

Anyway, I'm very happy to see that I am down a pound, if I had gained, I may have given up soon. I hope that the rest of this treatment feels better than the first week. I know that I am at a very critical point after having fallen off the wagon.