7/12/09

I am doing very poorly at eating right. I had ice cream again last night, but at least now it's out of the house. I also had cheese & crackers at work. I did not eat lunch yesterday or today because I slept in. I do not feel energetic at all today like I did yesterday. I feel myself returning to how I felt before the hcg. That is the last thing I want, so I am not going to buy any more off-list foods.I thought I could have one mini icream treat per day to satiate my cravings, obviously that was like an alcoholic saying they could have one drink a day and keep the stuff in the house. Pretty stupid of me to think I could manage the self control. 

Going out shouldn't be a problem, I'm not even off work again until Friday. I'm going to try to exercise again today even tho I feel crappy. Oh ya, I gained 3.6 lbs. Back up to 151.0, another motivating factor. 

7/11/09

The last couple of days have been surprising. I have succumbed to cravings more than once, particularly for sweets. The cravings are much worse than before the hcg. I guess the deprivation made things worse for me now that I'm trying to integrate normal healthy foods. I did start taking a L-Leucine supplement yesterday hoping it would help maintain hypothalmic function from the hcg. Maybe it worked. Something certainly worked unexpectedly. Yesterday's weight was up 0.4 lbs from the day before, today's weight was down 1.6 lbs! Shocking to me since I ate about 300 calories and 21 grams of fat worth of ice cream last night right before bed. I still feel bloated from it. (hopefully remembering the feeling of not being bloated while on hcg will help me to control myself better, I didn't realize until the last several weeks that it had been years since I hadn't felt bloated.) 

I am disappointed that removing sweets for the hcg period didn't curb my cravings for them but made it worse. I am going to have to work very hard on self control. I'm going to exercise today and control myself better on the sweets. I hope that after letting myself have sweets, I am going to be able to control myself better by allowing a tiny bit of sweets every few days or so. 

7/9/09

149.0 again,  which again makes me happy since I ate a couple of small pieces of chocolate yesterday and extra melba crackers. I am going to stop the injections because the hunger is really coming back. I also just want to get back to 'normal'. I'm sick of feeling tired and unable to exercise. I am going to follow the reintroduction period exactly (no more chocolate!) then lose the rest with diet and exercise. And the occasional little piece of chocolate. 

I know it sounds like I haven't learned my lesson. But I have. I am not going to go back to eating fast food, drinking soda pop and consuming ice cream almost daily. I will be keeping track of calories, fat and portion size. I will also be mindful to seriously restrict my intake of foods that combine fat+sugar. I will keep this blog updated with my success on the reintro period. 

7/8/09

149.0 lbs. Even after increasing my dose to 200 i.u. and I was hungry yesterday. I guess I'm getting immune to it. I was really depressed yesterday for some reason too. I would have given up and stopped the injections except I'm broke and don't want to spend $ grocery shopping until my next payday. Due to being hungry I also ate 4 melba toasts over the day. So really, I'm glad to have lost the 0.4 lb. I  know that you get out of this diet what you put in to it, so I can't be disappointed with anything other than myself. My goal now is to reach 145 and keep it there thru and after the 6 wks of reintroducing foods. 

The main thing I would tell people is that hcg sounds like an easy way to lose a lot of weight fast, and it isn't (easy). It takes iron will. And while you may think you have that because you're so sick of being fat, it's harder than you could ever imagine. I am however glad that I did this diet because I have developed a much stronger resistance to temptation. I have also grown accustomed to measuring portions which is something I will not stop doing. After my 6 weeks of reintroducing foods, I will go back on weight watchers to lose the rest. I won't do hcg again because of the way I feel so drained and literally unable to exercise. I enjoy exercising and will have the opportunity during the fall semester to use the university gym twice a week.  

7/7/09

149.4, a little disappointed. I skipped lunch yesterday because I woke up late. Every thing else was on-diet. I did have dreams about eating candy bars then remembering I was on this diet. I'm pretty sure that means I didn't get enough to eat yesterday. No more skipping meals. 

7/6/09

Down to 149.6, which makes me very happy considering that I succumbed to the temptation yesterday and ate a half a cookie. I know it was an emotional/stress response. But I am still proud of myself for cutting it in two and leaving the other half, because it was really good. I'm pretty sure I will be able to resist any more temptations because I am so happy to see 149 and I want to keep below 150 very badly. 

I am going to mix my last batch of hcg today, and I think I'll mix it at 200 iu instead of 175. I know I'll have one less day, but I'm hoping it will reduce the hunger I've been feeling lately and maybe even up the weight loss a little.  

I drank 32 oz of water yesterday and a glass of tea but am still having dry mouth this morning. I'll shoot for 64 oz today. 

7/5/09

150.0 again. I was really hoping for 149. It's been years since I've seen one-forty-anything.A woman I work with who started the hcg diet a week and a half ago is already down 12 pounds, the same as me after 4 weeks. I'm really angry at myself for giving up that one time. I wonder if the next two weeks will be worth it. Surely it will be if I can get down to 145 or less. I'm also really worried I'll gain on the reintroduction part. I'm already carefully planning my meals for the first 3 weeks. I will be sorely disappointed if I end up at 150 after all of this. Of course I know I have only myself to blame for falling off the wagon that one time. 

Yesterday was a long day. I got up at 8AM and did yard work, then went to work from 4PM-2AM. I ate exactly on diet. There was a lot of food at work but I was not really tempted by any of it except I was a little bummed about the specialty bakery cookies. I feel dehydrated again today tho. I didn't drink enough yesterday, I was too busy. I'm going to start taking my water bottle with me to work that's marked w/volume increments to make sure I drink enough water from now on.  

7/4/09

150.0! Another whole pound. I ate my fruit and cracker this a.m., I was actually hungry when I woke up which is new. Hopefully I'm too busy at work to think about being hungry. 

I stayed up late and read Dr. Kessler's book "The End of Overeating" and it had such vivid descriptions of 'hyperpalatable' foods it may be what is making me think so much about food. However it had good explanations for why we become addicted to certain types of food. I would totally recommend it, at least before someone starts dieting (that way you don't have to read about tempting things while you're already deprived). 

7/3/09

151.0 again. I was hoping for another loss of course. Today I had my usual a.m. cracker but I also had half an apple. I have been only having one fruit serving a day. But today is my day off so I'll be able to space out my meals better and wait longer before lunch. I would rather lose the same small amount every day than bounce around like this. 

P.M.

I have been hungrier today than before. It's frustrating. I wonder if I am becoming immune to the hcg. Tomorrow is my no-injection day, and it will be hectic at work, there will also be a load of tempting food at work. I really hope I am not hungry like I am today, or more so. I just ate 3.5 hrs ago, and my tummy is growling. (And I feel hungry.) I guess I'll go eat my dinner and hope I don't get hungry again before bedtime. 

7/2/09

Down to 151.0 !!! Almost a pound and a half! There were some super-delicious looking gourmet cookies at work yesterday and I was bummed about not having one. But it was worth it. I still tell myself all that good stuff will be there when I'm done, and I know now I will have the self control to eat it in moderation while paying attention to my weight. 

7/1/09

Still at 152.4, but not too disappointed. I feel bloated (period) and am just happy I haven't gained. I have been feeling more tired again, and tried to use my elliptical yesterday but couldn't go more than a minute or so. I can't wait til this is over so I can exercise again. 3 1/2 more weeks of the 500 cal/day diet left. Tho I guess I still can't exercise for 6 wks after that since you're not supposed to lose weight during that time.